You have heard the phrase contested divorce. It points out a salient fact: that in dissolving a marriage, you have to split up everything - the money you saved, the home you made together, even the children you brought into the world.
By its nature, divorce is not easy. Even when your ex remains your friend, even when you have gone to great lengths to have the divorce be amicable - there's still that sense that you don't want to be cheated, that you want what you want. It's only natural.
Even uncontested divorces become tough when you realize there are assets you did not think to put on the list, or when your idea of parenting time and your soon-to-be-ex's idea are completely different ideas.
Keeping cool through the heated battle
And so you try threading the needle - going after the things that are important to you, and applying the pressure to do that, without it erupting into divorce war. It takes knowledge of the law and of the millions of relevant precedents - and an attitude of confidence and assertiveness.
This is where lawyers earn their fees. We handle the contest part, the heated battle, while you keep your cool, thinking about the new break you are making, about the opportunities and freedom heading your way.
In short, you need a lawyer who is empathetic to your needs, and not quite so empathetic to your partner's.
When you prepare for divorce, admit that it's a contest. And - because your future happiness depends on it - don't lose.